Feeling Grief

It hits so hard.

Losing someone.

You go through all the emotions.

Waves of sadness.



Even anger sometimes.

Wishing you had more time.

More time.

There’s never enough time.

To be with the ones you love.

Because it literally can be gone in an instant.

I had the incredible opportunity to meet a great human being when I was young and dumb in college.

Away from my parents and family, I got a job at a small salon and beauty supply in San Diego.

My first time away from home.

It wasn’t just another job.

It helped me pay bills.

Meet people.

Feel like I had other family to be supported while I was away.

I met a beautiful couple named Franz and Marie who took me under their wing.

Franz was a gem.

Over 6 foot tall of pure German man.


Ridiculously thick accent.

Hilarious af.

Intense af.

You never wanted to cross him because he would never let you back into his life.

But, he took the time to teach me about life.

About “grabbing life by the balls” and never taking shit from anyone.

Living and loving fully.

He gave me my first sip of expensive cognac.

Expensive craft beer.

Taught me how to eat and order a steak (no, not well done, Shauna). Medium rare.

He taught me all about the finer things in life.

Now it all makes sense to me.

Because life is too f-ing short to worry about all the small shitty details.

Life is meant for eating cake.


Laughing so hard you pee your pants.

Loving hard.

Traveling anywhere and everywhere because there’s a lot more to life than just your bubble.


Singing loud.

Spending time with people you love and that want good things for you.

Surrounding yourself with like minded people.

Tasting the champagne.

To never be afraid to go after whatever the f*ck you want in your life.

It’s your life.

And you’ve only got one to live.

If you’re reading this and have experienced any traumatic losses, death of friends, family, co-workers, whatever. This one’s for you.

I share my grief because it’s a terribly difficult thing to go through.

My world crashed a few years ago when I lost my favorite uncle.

Now this.

But as with the downs in life, there are incredibly amazing ups – you just have to look for them and live your life to the fullest.

Live, love and play hard.

Give lots of hugs, kisses, and spend as much time with the people you love while you can.

Love and hugs to you always.


Miss you, Franz! So happy I got to spend all that time with you. And beyond happy I got to say goodbye. You are one amazing soul who will be deeply missed.

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